Before I begin, let me assure you all that I'm home now and doing very well. Living in a living room isn't ideal, but it's better than living in the hospital. I'm also using a walker around the house now, and started physiotherapy as an outpatient.
So, what's got me writing this time? Well, it occured to me recently that this illness is going to force me to make a life-altering decision much sooner than I had counted on making it. You see, part of my treatment includes methotrexate, a form of chemotherapy. I'm lucky that it doesn't seem to be having any side-effects, but that doesn't mean that it's not powerful stuff. It can wreak havoc on an adult, but it can cause very serious complications when a pregnancy becomes part of the picture.
Which is why I need to speak to my doctor about potentially getting my tubes tied. Pregnancy can trigger a flare-up of miositis, and given that my form of the disease seems to strike hard and fast, there's no way I could last 9 months without medical treatment. If a flare were to occur while I was pregnant, there's a chance that it would be me or the baby. Thinking about that is uncomfortable at best; I feel like I shouln't have to think about decisions like this at my age. So, getting my tubes tied would certainly be one way to avoid that risk entirely.
Given that I wasn't planning to have kids anyway, you'd think this wouldn't bother me. And yet, it does; my disease might end up taking away my decision about this. Not that childbirth is the only option in that regard; adoption is always an option, as is spoiling the heck out of nieces and nephews. It's just very unpleasant to realize that I might have to make such a major decision like this before I've even started my adult life. At least I have some time; I need to heal from this first, and that's going to take a while yet.
